The Qu and their Magic

The Qu once were great, before the birth of Gurgula: despite their "friendly" looks and their love for food, they had an empire that spanned most of the Stranded Archipelago, built on blood, cannibalism and slavery. Powerful in their magic, they scoured the world and the planes beyond in search of the rarest, most precious ingredients, making deals with demons and nations from beyond, establishing embassies and restaurants everywhere they went.

Their magic was so powerful they could create suns, life, alter matter and reality. Food was the basis of it all, and in their Kitchen Arenas they forged the very best Chefs in nauseating feasts of gluttony. It was in these places that their most precious treasures and recipes from beyond were kept. It was in a place like this, that they ate a god.

Here are some of their recipes:

Sakai's Rôti du Retour
Ritual Recipe
Cooking time: 8 hours (uninterrupted);
Requires a properly sized Oven;
Fresh Ingredients;
A memento;
A third of target's Experience points;

Following this recipe, a magic-user may revive a person who has been dead for no more than a week, by creating a dish in its memory.
To properly do so, the cook must have know the person in life, donate memories associated with them (at least a third of the target's original experience points) and an object associated with them. If all instructions are followed correctly, the person will rise, freshly baked, from their dish, with a third of its original experience points. This is actually a clone that has had memories implanted from the caster and, for all intents and purposes, only they know this.
If any one of the requirements of this recipe is not met, there is only a 1 in 6 chance that the spell will work. On failure, roll on the following miscast table:

1. A mindless clone is created, he will slowly move towards the place where the target of this spell last died
2. Limb Swap! Legs for arms, feet for hands;
3. The spell fails and the caster looses a total of 2/3 of their experience points;
4. Burned. The person is brought back forever singed and smelling of burnt meat. Cinder and smoke fall and rise from it endlessly;
5. This is raw! Skin was not properly finished, so the character walks around like a flayed man. Reaction rolls are made with a -3 modifier and the person takes double damage from everything;
6. Heads up. Character is brought back a fully functioning talking head;
7. Tough Cookie. The character's body becomes rock hard. It can no longer move its limbs and can barely speak. But hey, AC 20, guess that is worth it;
8. Needed more time in the oven... Become a living blob of flesh, with no mouth or eyes;




















Mise en Place
3rd Level Spell
Save vs. Magic

Caster slices and dices his target (which may be himself) as he wills, causing no bleeding or damage in the process. The target will remain alive and cut as long as the caster is alive. It can

Flesh to Pie
4th level Spell
3 Saves vs. Magic

A relatively human sized target is slowly turned into a delicious, hot and crispy meat pie. The spell can also be cast in reverse, saving someone affected or GIVING SENTIENCE TO MEAT PIES (beware);


Quina's Instant Pie
7th level Spell
No Save

Instantly turns a person into a pie.

Dick to Noodle
1st level Spell
Save vs. Magic

Hahahahaha your dick is now a noodle! HAHAHAHAHAHAH - Zblage, the Stupid

Lil' Gyoza Dude

1st level Spell

Summons a tiny greasy gyoza man (10cm/3 inches I guess. Use the fucking metric system ffs) that is fully obedient to the caster. Fully edible. 1hp, AC as naked, cannot deal damage but can stab with his mighty toothpick, can also climb most surfaces with ease.

A lot of these came from Dorohedoro, a great manga with awesome art and an unique depiction of magic-users. Check it out: